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5 trigger points on how to become more masculine by Spencer Lissamore Fitness.

So no, I’m not talking about growing a beard and drinking beer. That’s not masculinity, that is simply masking a impotence of the man (not always but yeah…)

Lots of men in 21st century society are questioning their masculinity…

They believe that they are weaker and less confident than more “manly” men.

If you feel this way, there’s no shame in it. There’s a large difference between being male and being a man. A male is something you are by birth. A man is something you have to become.

The good news is that there are several “masculine triggers” that, if done on a daily basis, will make you feel more masculine and confident, no matter who you are, what you look like, or where you’re from.

Trigger Point #1 – challenge yourself

Challenge is the whetstone that sharpens the blade of the masculine edge.

In fact, challenge is the driving force behind the success of the human race. From building massive skyscrapers and creating enormous tech companies to starting wars in an attempt to conquer other nations, challenge continually pushes us forward.

Also here’s another fact that’s not very well known: most of our ancestors are women. That means most of the men who lived in history didn’t get to procreate (arguably the #1 biological goal of your life).

Men back then instinctively knew this, so what did they do? They improved themselves, so they would have a better chance to pass on their genes.

They became tougher. Rougher. More mentally sharp. They were the ones who stepped up to the challenge of life and developed a strong internal locus of control. As a result, those were the ones who got laid and had children.

If every man who ever lived reproduced, over-population would have extinguished the human race long ago. Luckily, nature has a built in safeguard for this — “survival of the fittest”. Species that do not grow and adapt are eliminated.

Implementation Guidelines: Take the time to step outside of your comfort zone every day. You’ll surprise yourself with how fast you grow when you begin challenging yourself.

Here’s some things you can do:

Try a new physical activity (weights, martial arts, rock climbing, etc)

Set a major task to complete by the end of the day

Get up earlier in the morning

Learn a new, mentally demanding skill that you have absolutely zero background in

Approach a girl and ask her out – even I struggle to do this and get rejected… daily… I. Spencer Lissamore. Get Rejected… daily… *headdesk*


Anything that will smack you out of that default autopilot mode (that you’ve been stuck in for God knows how long) is good.

Trigger Point #2 – become independent

Self reliance plays a huge role in the male psyche. We were always seen as the hunter gatherers, the bread winners, the men of the house and thus feel a stimulus to maintain that role and be the bold character of which we depend on nothing or nobody but ourselves. This too is a bold statement and in this day and age is untrue however in the event of ‘becoming a man’ or increasing our own self-esteem we must adopt this mentality.

Modern society teaches us to be reliant on outside stimulation to feel good about ourselves. For example, we often rely on getting “likes” on social media for validation.

If you want to be masculine, you need to learn how to get approval and validation from within. Use outside help, for sure, but don’t expect it to save you.

Implementation Guidelines: Being self-reliant is not the same as being self-sufficient. No man is an island. You aren’t truly self-sufficient unless you go “off the grid” completely.

Self-reliance only means that you rely primarily on yourself to deliver an end-result (even though you may get a friendly “push” along the way).

Here’s how you can achieve this:

Accept advice and criticism from others but do your own thinking on all occasions

Become knowledgeable and skilled in an area that can provide value to others

Build up an emergency fund or start your own side gig/business

Learn how to generate positive emotions from within, rather than rely on external stimulus

Trigger Point #3 – complete a ‘rite of passage’:

In many cultures, there is a distinct transition from boyhood to manhood. It is symbolised by a test or physical initiation.

For example, in ancient Sparta, young boys would be released into the wild to fend for themselves. If they returned, they were then christened as men.

In mainstream Western society we have no equivalent test. As you can imagine, this creates tremendous social problems. Lots of guys today are stuck in a state of “suspended adolescence” and don’t know how to progress to manhood.

Rites of passage typically need a clear demarcation point saying “Before, I was a boy. Now I am a man.” For example…

Taking a solo trip across the world into unfamiliar cultures

Moving to a place very different from where you grew up

Completing a series of challenges for X number of consecutive days

Being able to perform a hard-to-master skill that takes time and dedication to achieve (mine was getting 99 fletching on RuneScape), that sh*t was not easy! Countless hours spent cutting yew longs into yew longbows only to have someone in Varrock steal every single one from my bank. *Clenches fists*.

Trigger Point #4 – step up!

All men have high levels of a particular hormone called testosterone. Because of this, we have a tendency to chase two things: fighting and fucking.

Unfortunately, the former is seen as entirely bad, and the latter’s purpose has been warped in society today. Neither of these are inherently bad. It all depends on the context.

In this case, fighting isn’t “wrong”. It’s how men keep each other sharp. Keep in mind that fighting is also mental (psychological warfare, anyone?).

Boys in school fight and scrap with each other ruthlessly because they feel this natural urge to fight in order to resolve conflicts. Male rams, bears, and other animals also often fight each other in the wild when competing for mates or resolving conflicts.

Ever seen the movie Fight Club? It is a distillation of this same male tendency for confrontation.

Implementation Guidelines: Am I encouraging you to be an asshole and try to fight random dudes at the bar? No. Fighting just to fight is absolutely uncalled for. Too many men unfortunately lack the emotional and social intelligence to realise that fighting should be done only as a last resort…

But you should still develop your natural desire for fierce competition. Here are some examples:

Hang around men that will challenge you mentally

Practice a martial art that allows you to spar

Learn how to debate your point of view effectively

Trigger Point #5 – create something for yourself

Many of the greatest discoveries have come from the masculine mind. Conquerors, adventurers, scientists, philosophers, inventors…they all had a deep desire to “push the envelope” and create new things that make the world a better place.

Unfortunately, we live in a society today that encourages consuming more than creating, and this is a big reason so many men feel “emasculated” today.

Implementation Guidelines: Giving your gift to the world will help you develop a large sense of pride and accomplishment. There’s no better feeling than doing good, honest, work and getting rewarded for it.

Here are some ways you can do that:

Do something and put your heart and soul into it, a side project or new career path for example. I have now dedicated my life to Online Coaching and Hybrid Training and I love it. It allows me to do the things I only wish I could of done. There is always hardships and struggles along the way however it would not build me as a person if there was not.

To recap…

– Challenge yourself and expand you comfort zone

– Stop relying on other people to fell good about yourself

– Will this be easy? No. It’s a heavy task and not all of us are up to it. But it’s open to any guy that wants it bad enough.

– Complete a brutally challenging “rite of passage”

– Regularly challenge others and stand firm to your belief’s whilst respecting other’s

– Create something of your own that helps other people and/or yourself.

Thank you for reading.

Spencer R Lissamore (not Dick Lissamore).

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